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Saturday, January 11, 2003 Fall of Civilization Alert! (Via Andrew Stuttaford at The Corner) The Guardian amazes with 'Cleansed' Greenland cabinet falls: The Greenland government collapsed yesterday because of a row about a phenomenon associated more commonly with the medieval period rather than the 21st century: witchcraft.Points for novelty! The Arctic territory's home rule government, in office for only 37 days, fell apart because of its senior civil servant's penchant for what some politicians called "witch-doctoring and other mumbo jumbo" and others "plain exorcism".Hmmm, most politicians promise to do that if elected. "When you move into new premises, it's normal to air the room and give the walls some fresh paint," he said, explaining why he had hired Maannguaq Berthelsen to "drive negative energy" from the building.Kinda sounds like Patty Murray! The "healer" at the centre of the row made matters worse by giving an interview to Greenland Radio in which she described how she had purified the offices by "harnessing her powers" for 90 minutes while standing outside the office block late last month.Sounds good to me! I wonder what her hourly rate is and whether it's OK to harness your powers in the local pub? Despite what you might think, the capital of Greenland is Nuuk - not Nyuk!
So little time, so much to blog! Knickerless girl freed without charge
And the results are in! Tim Blair's attempt to assist the delusional British poet laureate, Andrew Motion Lotion, has produced quite a crop. My favorite is from Joseph Latino: They drink good wine, but never tryBut I was never much for scansion. Mark Steyn also weighs in with a in-depth expose, Going through the motions: Now, in this exclusive excerpt from his forthcoming memoir, Going Through the Motions, Andrew Motion reveals the inspiration and passion behind this classic of English poetry:
"All we need to do is start a dialogue" alert! Gweilo Diaries administers a well deserved spanking to inveterate whiner, Joshua Marshall, on North Korea: Marshall is of the opinion:C'mon everyone, sing Kumbaya along with Joshua and Bubba!"What got us into this situation was our refusal -- a refusal based apparently on principle -- to talk with the North Koreans or to assuage their security concerns."Funny, I thought the North's pursuit of a nuclear weapons program in violation of international agreements had something to do with it.
Can you say "Freudian slip"? ... I knew you could! Ellen Ratner apologized for expressing the desire that the war with Iraq be "messed up" so that President Bush would not be re-elected. Meanwhile, from another venue in Munchkinland, everyone's favorite soccer mom, Senator Patty Murray, still defends her lust for the great humanitarian, Osama bin Laden. A video tape of Patty's remarks showed up on Fox News and the schoolgirl crush was amazing to behold. James Taranto has the latest over at Best of the Web in Patty to Press: Go Construe Yourself! Why won't Murray just admit she was wrong? Her explanations are about as believable as Trent Lott's claim that he admired Strom Thurmond's 1948 views on national defense.I still think she should stick to the idiot defense.
Friday, January 10, 2003 Rocket Science Alert! The Straits Times reveals that Internet use in class 'fails to improve grades': LONDON - Equipping schools with a million computers and connecting them all to the Internet has had little, if any, impact on standards, according to a study commissioned by Britain's Education Department.The amazing thing is that someone actually thought it would further the pupils' education.
Hold my beer alert! The BBC stuns with Monks insist on high-alcohol beer: A French Government drive against alcoholism has incurred the wrath of Belgium's famous Trappist monks.Now that's what I call a beer! The Trappist brewers argue that this is against the spirit of the European free trade area, the single market.Actually, as might be expected, they have a spokesman. The new fiscal measures were announced unexpectedly at the end of last year in order to deter alcoholism.I'm shocked!
Your Personal Presidential Monument with an Attitude! Endorsed by Republicans, Democrats, and Independents to massage your political kinks! Talks too - follow the link.
New Terrorist Catch and Release Program! (Via Trojan Horseshoes) One Hand Clapping has the photo! I always like a fishing story.
Ruh Oh! Ashok Sharma for the AP reports that Giant Statue of Hindu God Falls in India: NEW DELHI, India - A giant statue of the Hindu god Krishna that took six years to build toppled onto its back this week, killing three people, Indian villagers who had raised the money for the construction said Friday.No excrement, Sherlock! Photo here.
Quick, while they aren't watching! Dissecting Leftism and Gweilo Diaries report that Communist China has blocked Blogspot. In that case, it must be time for a little humor: Pilot Hero Wang Wei: "Jet Boy"
Lock and Load Alert! Silent Running suggests that it's time to get some rounds down range via the folks at Shoot-it.org The possibilities are endless! Dang, where's my Fidel poster?
Thursday, January 09, 2003 You can't make this stuff up! Over at ABCwatch, Uncle alerts us to a highly distilled essence of wingnuttery: Radio Nation SummerOther than raising concern about a shortage of Australian wingnuts - most of the deep thinkers seem to be from the US or UK - it's about what you would expect: Anita Roddick, Jimmy Carter, and other, lesser lights. Uncle picks a winner though: Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.I wonder what the Doc has lined up to inspire juicy geezers? Hmm, I wonder if being a juicy geezer is even legal?
They're having a party Philip Delves Broughton in the Telegraph (UK) dishes Feasting and tax breaks as Chirac reins in his press: Under the debauched gaze of Putti, President Chirac welcomed the Paris press corps to the Elysee Palace yesterday to offer his New Year wishes.More Gallic hijinks by following the link.
Wiener Dog Alert! Reuters amazes with Hunter Becomes Prey as Eagle Makes Meal of Dog: A golden eagle made a meal of a dachshund hunting dog in Sweden after experts warned the cold spell sweeping northern Europe was forcing hungry birds of prey closer to towns and cities.I wondered he if wanted the onion sauce?
A little poesy! Tim Blair is having a poetry contest since England's poet laureate seems to have a severe port side lean.
Airhead Alert! Over at A Small Victory, that obnoxious airhead, Arianna Huffington, gets a richly deserved Fisking. Arianna, your 15 minutes are up. On the other hand, even Zsa Zsa would admire her chutzpah - $10 million and $10K/month - not a bad temporary assignment.
Dear Leader Alert! Michael Kelly clears up a few things in the Washington Post in Kick the (Korea) Can: On North Korea, the conventional wisdom in Washington, which happens to be the same as the conventional wisdom in Pyongyang, goes roughly like this: George W. Bush triggered the crisis by excessive hardening-of-line and axis-of-evil-calling; Bush is compounding his hard-lining error by irresponsibly refusing to negotiate with Pyongyang; and, paradoxically, Bush is guilty of foreign-policy incoherence or worse in adopting a harder line toward Saddam Hussein than toward Kim Jong Il.And while we're on the subject of North Korea, y'all be pleased to know that Kofi Annan is helping out by sending over primo wingnut, In order to save the planet, the group decides: Isn’t the only hope for the planet that the industrialized civilizations collapse? Isn’t it our responsibility to bring this about?"Oh yeah, he also thinks people are having too many children and should require licenses. He's had five so far. To speak of.
I'm getting too old! John Ellis says If Glenn Reynolds finds out about Foneblog, we're talking ceaseless Instapundit.I can see it now: [Officer] Ma'am, you just swerved across two lanes of traffic and then turned right from the left turn lane! [Blogger] But I was updating my weblog with my shopping list and a picture of the radicchio!
Job Incentive Alert! The NY Daily News stuns the senses with Say troops ate Pygmies: NAIROBI, Kenya - A United Nations team is investigating reports that Congolese rebel troops have killed and eaten Pygmies in northeastern Congo.Hey, it's Africa.
Boob Tube Alert! The NY Post astounds with Jesse Pumped Up To Be The New Donahue: FORMER Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura is about to announce that he will host his own show on MSNBC, sources say.While Jesse can sometimes be engaging, being the "new Donahue" is probably prophetic.
Class Warfare Alert! (Via American Real Politik) William F. Buckley sums it up: The price of tax cuts isn't reductions in federal revenues. The price of tax cuts is having to sit around listening for weeks and months to the Democrats' Pavlovian wails about "the rich" -- if not "the very rich" -- if not, forsooth, "the wealthiest 1 percent."And "You'll get these tax dollars when you pry them from my cold dead fingers".
Wednesday, January 08, 2003 My first LOTR post! Fans Outraged at New Character in The Return of the King Wellington, New Zealand - A recently leaked trailer for The Return of the King has Tolkien fans outraged over the apparent addition of a new character - Jar-Jaromir. The scene depicted in the trailer shows Jar-Jaromir shouting, "Gondora gonna fallsa"; he then trips over a corpse and knocks down a couple of Uruk-hai.Click through for a picture.
Caddyshack alert! (Via Tim Blair) One of the usual suspects, Peter FitzSimons, has his knickers in a twist because Bob Dylan is a golfer: No, Bobby. Please, no. It's just not you, babe. And I, for one, simply refuse to believe that the deity who designed The Times They Are A'Changin', Idiot Wind, Isis and the Chimes of Freedom Flashing is doing what they say you're doing.Hold your cursor over the gopher for a message to Peter.
Beer Wench? I guess I really haven't been keeping up with modern cricket. Reuters reports that Beer wenches lubricate cricket fans: SYDNEY (Reuters) - Cricket-mad Aussies at the fifth Ashes test in Sydney this week made sure they missed none of the action by hiring the latest sports accessory, a "beer wench".This was the only beer wench I had heard of. UPDATE: The Yobbo is all over this one including a link with pictures.
Those dang cricketeer assassins! A hearty howdy to the Yobbo (he's new in town), who reports that the increasingly delusional Bobby Mugabe thinks that the English and Australian cricket teams really ought to boycott the Cricket World Cup in Zimbabwe, since they might assassinate him between innings. I'm afraid that I have the provincial Yankee opinion that cricket is merely an excuse for a prolonged picnic and that aside from a few demon bowlers, the only health hazard is extended boredom. Can't we spare a Predator with some Hellfire missiles and put whackjob Bobby out of his travail, as well as saving a few of the unfortunate citizens of Zimbabwe? Then we could all get back to the watercress sandwiches and tea.
How could I have missed it? In my unceasing effort to be the one stop shopping source for news of naked wingnuts (cf. 1, 2, 3), I failed to go back to the original source at the Point Reyes Light, the chronicle of Marin County wackiness. As a result I missed the hot news on Jan. 2 that Nude women protest war again; men also demonstrate. It's a breakthrough, they're going co-ed! Seeking to "reinvigorate the buzz across the country" from its first photo of women spelling "Peace" with their naked bodies, organizer Donna Sheehan and her group, Unreasonable Women Baring Witness, staged a second, much larger nude peace protest and photo shoot near Point Reyes Station on Sunday.Everyone needs a hobby, and a 4 to 1 ratio isn't bad for the guys. Along with creating a statement for peace, the participants also bonded at this weekend’s shoot.Woohoo! But sadly, you have to read down the page to find out that the co-ed mingling was minimal - the womyn spelled out "Peace" while the myn formed a ruptured chicken. But not to fear, things are "warming up": Participant Paul Reffell, despite an air of nervousness and uncertainty, said he walked away feeling enthusiastic over the experience of men forming a peace symbol with their bodies.And some forward thinkers have even got kids and dogs involved (no, they're wearing clothes): "The more we do, the better," said Bolinas resident Vivienne Verdon-Roe, who said the first photo inspired Bolinas residents to stage their own version of a "Peace" photo, albeit fully-dressed and incorporating children and dogs. A second Bolinas photo is slated for Saturday, Jan. 11, where all who participate will create a "No War" sign with their clothed bodies.Maybe they can find a farmer to play along and do "crop signs"?
Morning Funnies American RealPolitik has today's latest political cartoons. I particularly like the first one.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 Easily Upset Alert! My sheltered existence had left me previously unaware of Lil Kim, who is apparently a female rap star. However, her cover photo for One World magazine has left the usual suspects with their burnooses in a twist: Muslims have been outraged by the cover photo of the popular U.S. urban culture magazine One World, which features female rapper Lil Kim wearing the head covering of a burqa and a revealing lingerie set.And more: "That this magazine ran with Lil Kim on the cover like this is totally unacceptable. They need to apologize immediately, as there is no justification for this whatsoever," said Najee Ali, Nat'l Dir. of Project Islamic H.O.P.E.I wonder if they ever heard the one about Muhammed and the ... no, probably not.
Awesome, totally awesome The NY Post's Page Six has the latest Sean Penn update:
Monday, January 06, 2003 What is it about "public" media? We are informed via bovination that Your ABC is now Everybody's ABC. That's what NPR needs! A slogan. Unfortunately PBS seems to have one: . Refresh the page to get the full effect.
"I am an alien" is winning The Ballarat Courier (scroll down) has a poser: A group associated with the purported first human cloning believes aliens are preparing to engage the human race at an "embassy" on earth. What do you think? Is there life out there?But there are only a few precincts reporting. (Via Tim Blair)- Yes
I can't even begin to do this one justice The Tampa Tribune reports that Parents Misbehave In School Car Lines. Actually, there isn't that much outright misbehavior. What is astonishing though, is that the school car line (and waiting in it) seems to be a central fixture of these people's lives and a big administration problem for the schools. It's things like this that tell me I'm getting old. When I was a kid there were basically three ways to get to school: foot, bike, and bus. Occasionally a parent would drive someone who was late or missed a bus, but there were never big lines of cars like one sees today. Can anyone explain the rationale? Is it fear of perverts? Fear of traffic? Lack of sidewalks? And no, we didn't have wimpazoid backpacks either.
Taikonaut Alert! The BBC reports that Chinese spacecraft lands: China's fourth unmanned spacecraft, Shenzhou IV, has returned to Earth.No word on warnings to propeller driven UFO's.
Idiot on the loose alert! Ha'aretz reports Gerda Duisenberg visits E. J'lem, says Israel committing terror: Gerda Duisenberg, the wife of European Central Bank President Wim Duisenberg, said during a visit Sunday to East Jerualem that Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was provoking the Palestinians and that his government was guilty of committing terror attacks.Open mouth, insert boot. Every time there is a break in the violence, Sharon creates a provocation, she said.One can't help but wonder what sort of cachet Gerda has besides marrying Wim. In April, Duisenberg caused a storm in Holland when she draped a PLO flag from the balcony of her Amsterdam home and founded a group calling on Israel to withdraw from the territories. In November, she cancelled a planned trip to the territories, under pressure from the Israeli Foreign Ministry, which said that it considered her persona non grata.I get it. She left a job in the Dutch space program to marry a banker and become Queen. Sad.
Shock Jock Alert! And The joke's on President Chávez: It was a practical joke that may have worked too well: Two Miami radio-show hosts known for playing outrageous pranks on the air got Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez on a private line this morning by pretending that Cuban leader Fidel Castro was calling him from Havana.To do it right, they need an impressionist to do Fidel. Does Rich Little speak Spanish?
"Cool, Orcs!" (Via Andrew Sullivan) Jonah Goldberg reviews the reviewers: Sigh. Okay, yes, it's true. Many of the Orcs (and the super-Orcs) are dark-skinned and have slant-eyes. They are also - how shall I put this? - Orcs! Ya frickin' idjit!Perhaps Mr. Yatt could be placated by a new villain?
You can't make this stuff up Bill Quick finds a gem: If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age.
My Desk Explained (Via The Corner) - The Economist defends me with In praise of clutter. Best anecdote: The most dramatic of these experiments took place at the offices of Chiat/Day, an American advertising agency. In 1993, Jay Chiat, the boss, had a revelation while on the ski slopes, and realised that his employees' minds were trapped by the boxes they were working in. Free their bodies from the box and you would free their minds. They were, accordingly, installed in offices without desks or filing cabinets. There were sofas to sit on and a few special rooms for meetings. There was nowhere to keep any paper; indeed, nobody was supposed to keep paper.No desks? Beware of epiphanies that come to you on the ski slopes.
Sunday, January 05, 2003 Mooning Myn Get in the Act Alert! First it was the Marin womyn, now it's NAKED MEN, MEN OF PEACE On December 21,2002, near Gainesville, Florida, 22 men posed naked to send a stunning Peace message to the American people and the war administration. Braving the cold, these men from Fort Myers to Gainesville, gathered together on a hillside to do the unthinkable: To Bare it all for Peace.Zzzzz. It would have been better if they stood on their heads. No film at 11.
All Tuckered Out Alert! Steve's back and has tales of the Western Desert: I'm still too tired to write about it, but I can mention a few things before putting my head between my knees and reaching for more Tums. We stayed at the Mirage, in a room where mini-bar Cokes cost $3.75, but you can walk fifty feet to a vending machine and buy the same thing for a mere $2.50. We gambled for a total of 20 minutes, possibly due to the fact that my amazing three-digit IQ constantly reminds me that gambling is for idiots. On New Year's Eve, I had about seventy mai tais and charmed both halves of a nice lesbian couple, and I recall trying to teach one of them to merengue.
The way it used to work Gareth Parker has an interesting reaction from some co-workers to the Australian illegal alien riots. That's the way it used to work in the USA too until the professional diversifiers arrived on the scene. The good professor had more on the Australian experience recently.
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