Wednesday, October 12, 2005

A farce in innumerable acts

Third World Wide Web
(Hat tip: Sacred Cow Burgers)


Last week's Internet Wankfest is over and the folks at the Guardian have apparently rethought their belief that "there is little the US government can do but acquiesce" to United Nations control of the Internet. Now they're getting ready for the big expense account swindle in Tunisia in November by leading the preparatory handwringing brigade - EU says internet could fall apart:
A battle has erupted over who governs the internet, with America demanding to maintain a key role in the network it helped create and other countries demanding more control.

The European commission is warning that if a deal cannot be reached at a meeting in Tunisia next month the internet will split apart.
...
Just before the meeting in Tunis, there will be a three-day gathering of bureaucrats to try to thrash out a deal on internet governance. Getting the parties - especially the US - to agree to anything looks like a near impossible task but Mrs Reding believes it is crucial to find common ground or see the global communication network disintegrate.
Do tell!
Viviane Reding, European IT commissioner, says that if a multilateral approach cannot be agreed, countries such as China, Russia, Brazil and some Arab states could start operating their own versions of the internet and the ubiquity that has made it such a success will disappear.
Stop, you're breaking my heart! Hmm, a couple of SpamNets, a HackerNet, and MoNet get split off the real Internet. What's not to like?

There's some further bleating about an "EU Compromise," but I'll spare you the blather in favor of a snip from Wind Rider at Silent Running after the previous Guardian foolishness:
There is no way in hell that we’re going to turn them over to the likes of The Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party, Robert Mugabe, The Mullahs in Tehran, Kim Jong”Poofy-hair” Il, Fidel, Hugo, nor the rest of the “assorted meat packing glitterati”. And if they think that we will just because they hold a circle jerk, then nod at themselves approvingly, they can, to put it politely without too fine an edge, go pound sand. Neither will any amount of nuanced Europiffle about ‘compromise’ or ‘accommodation’ somehow change this fact. They can stomp their feet and be as disdainful as a French waiter with ‘roids after getting no tip, to no avail.

Kofi can wring his hands and look dismayed till Kojo has grandkids. The EU can discuss it at the Hague until Haley’s comet comes back. ‘Important’ MSM hardcopy and broadcast media can tut-tut with as much seriousness as Dan Rather standing by a fax machine. In fact, they can suck snot out of a dead dog’s nose till they taste earwax, for good measure.

Any US politician or functionary that slips in the tub, cracks their head, and suddenly thinks this is an item worthy of serious discussion other than “NO” should be tarred, feathered, given a swift kick in the ass, and sent off packing to East Jimbuki for an extended rest, recuperation, and witness protection hiatus.
'nuff said.